Help for Those Grieving the Loss of a Loved One

As helpful as friends and family can be, often times they cannot provide the understanding you need because they don’t know what you are going through after suffering a devastating loss.

In “The Road to Recovery” you learn that you come to a crossroads in life when you lose someone very dear to you. To help you choose the right path, it is vital to read the work of someone who knows full well the deep sorrow you feel and can provide both comfort and practical advice that works. The author lost his college sweetheart and wife of four and a half years in a commercial airline crash in 1997. She was only 27 years old. He wrote this book to help other through the grieving process.

Grief HelpWhat Others are Saying about “The Road to Recovery: Overcoming & Moving Beyond Your Grief.”

“The contents are amazing and profound. Your words rang loud and true when I read them. Wish I had found this book earlier.” – Terry Welch, sister to Michael Ryan lost on Comair flight 5196, Aug. 27, 2006.

“This book contains so many insightful, appropriate and helpful ideas and suggestions. God bless you.” – Kelly Markillie, pastoral counselor at The Cathedral of Christ The King, Atlanta, GA.

“I lost my son in the World Trade Center [911] and I found your book so comforting.”Patricia Noah, mother of Leonard M. Castrianno, Cantor Fitzgerald, 105th floor WTC. 

Excerpt from this grief support guide:

If grief can be summed up in a nutshell, it is how we feel now that an important person is no longer in our life. In essence, we hurt and feel sorry for ourselves. Our focus is usually on what WE lost. Grief, of course, is a normal reaction to the loss of someone or something. Each of us will handle these feelings in our own way and in our own time. There is no blueprint to the process and no timetable to how long you will hurt.

Author J. William Worden describes four facets of mourning:

1 – Accepting the reality of the loss

2 – Experiencing the pain of grief

3 – Adjusting to an environment without the lost loved one

4 – Reinvesting emotional energy in life

Having been through the complete grief process, I can relate to each of these “steps.” Accepting the loss almost immediately helped me move on with my mourning quicker, although it didn’t make anything easier.

I cannot help you acknowledge the reality of your loss. Only you can do that, and hopefully you are well past that stage by the time you receive this book.

Sometimes, intense feelings of grief will catch us by surprise. It may startle you when you fall “into the pits” several months after the tragedy. It is at this time that many people will be expecting you to be over your loss. Don’t believe them. It is only normal for this to happen. Just remember your grief is unique. No one else is just like you. No one else had the same relationship with the person who died.

Understand that a main purpose of grief is to help you reach the point in your life when you can remember without the pain.

What I present in this book are several steps to help you get through the grieving process in a positive way.

 “The Road to Recovery: Overcoming & Moving Beyond Your Grief” has now been reduced to only $0.99 (effective Summer, 2014). Available in instant downloadable PDF format:

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“Grief only comes in one size, extra large.” — Dennis Manning

Surviving the Unthinkable as a Father and Husband

by Arlen Roth,
Gillian Mackenzie Roth, my darling late daughter, was born Dec. 22nd, 1983. As you parents know, when a child is born, and you see that face, you can never imagine that the universe could ever be without them. She was the most extraordinary girl in the world. She had the most amazing childhood, filled with family, music, art, creativity and of course love. When she was born, I was born, so as you can imagine, I literally died when I lost her. No one can ever lose a child, especially like her. She had a wonderful blossoming career as an actress and a guitarist, and had been doing commercials, etc. from the age of 11 till she died at 14. It was on the way back from an audition in NYC when their car was involved in an accident and Gillian and my wife, Deborah were both killed. 

The tragedy came only two days after “Gillie” had recorded the theme song for her new exciting Nickleodeon show, “The Gunks”, a show about a girl rock band that was loosely based on The Monkees. Gillie was so happy, I remember her leaving the studio, and punching the sky with glee! She was so proud of her guitar playing, but was particularly happy with how they used her singing voice as the main one on the theme song!

The devastation caused by such a tragedy is beyond the imagination of anyone, except those who have unfortunately also gone through such a loss. One can never truly “heal” from having your 14 year-old daughter and wife of 17 years ripped away from you in a blink of an eye. The only thing I could do, and what I HAD to do, was go on for my daughter, LexieRoth, who’s also a singer, songwriter and guitarist in her own right.

It was many months before I picked up a guitar again after the accident in 1998, and even then it had to almost be forced upon me. Lexie eventually started writing a lot of songs and several dealing with the tragedy, which led to her first album, “One Long Blink,” and which is also reflected in some of the songs in her current release, “Lexie Roth.” It took me 3 years before I could go into the studio again, and all I could do was make a deeply personal, all-solo acoustic alum called “Drive it Home.” This album featured many songs made up right on the spot; a kind of “emotional, musical photography of notes” that occured simply as I felt them. Being the kind of player who always “shoots from the hip” anyway, this was just a further and deeper statement of who I was, who I am, and especially who I was at that very moment of raw, musical emotion.

There have been even 4 more albums since then, but my latest, “All Tricked Out!,” the fifth since the tragedy, is a kind of ripping off of the shirt and stating that “I’m really BACK!” sort of effort. Sure there is still tons of emotion to hear and experience, but there is no hesitation to be a bit playful, to show some humor, to show that I’ve musically “moved forward” in not only my playing, but also my life.

For the last 14 years since the accident, it felt as if literally NO time had passed. NOW, it at least feels like time, albeit too quickly now, has started to move forward again, through the time and notes in my music, as well as watching the time and life move forward through my surviving daughter, Lexie. I hope folks enjoy this record, and through the notes I play and sing, hear and feel the indescribable emotions I can’t help but convey!”

 

About Arlen

Music lesson pioneer Arlen Roth is the quintessential guitarist. An accomplished and brilliant musician — and one of the very few who can honestly say he’s done it all — Roth has, over the course of his celebrated 35-year career, played on the world’s grandest stages, accompanied many of the greatest figures in modern music and revolutionized the concept of teaching guitar.

Roth was voted one of “The Top 100 Influential Guitarists of the Century” by Vintage Guitar magazine.

In addition to being widely regarded as the “King of All Guitar Teachers,” Roth has also toured and recorded with the likes of Simon and Garfunkel (individually and together), Bob Dylan, John Prine, Phoebe Snow, Don McLean, Pete Seeger, Jack Bruce, James Taylor and Duane Eddy, establishing himself as one of today’s most prominent guitarists.

Another FREE Kindle book this week from All Star Press

Spanish Grief recovery bookTake advantage of the Spanish edition of “The Road to Recovery: Overcoming and Moving Beyond Your Grief” in the Amazon Kindle Store now through the end of day, Saturday, June 30th.

Written for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, “The Road to Recovery” gives life-changing advice to help sufferers move on and pick up their lives.

“El Camino a la Recuperacion” by Rich Nilsen is FREE through Amazon. There is no Kindle eReader required as the Amazon Cloud service allows members to read books online.